Flail on

A disturbing new trend in YouTube these days is the homemade music video. This is not to say that music artists are using handheld cameras to do their own work, but rather, thousands of douchebag take an artist’s work and make their own music video with the song dubbed over. Never has this ever produced something worth watching, yet I have scourged the YouTube shit-o-sphere to bring you, the reader, some idea of how bad it really can get.

Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight
Here we have a “creative” attempt by three teenagers (including one visibly disheartened banjo-playing girl), featuring audio synched to a slideshow rather than flowing video. You have to wait for a little while before the actual music kicks in, and suddenly we’re treated to one guy thrashing around as if he just downed his entire bottle of Ritalin with a Red Bull. The only reason this video is exemplified in this post is because of his overly-flamboyant personality, the kid that probably got picked on a lot early in life. Like many people who reach out to the internet for attention and perhaps even understanding, our vest-sporting friend is among the many whom I’d like to take a baseball bat too. Is that unnecessary violence? I’d like to think not.

Somebody's Watching Me
Do you ever find yourself watching a YouTube video, wondering if it’s a homemade music video? Using simple logistics, I’ve managed to create a formula that accurately deciphers the difference between a normal YouTube video, and the homemade music video. If you are what you are watching contains at least three features described below, you are, in fact, watching a homemade music video. As an example, I’ve used this formula for this particular video.
-Long, overdrawn intro? Check
-Shaky camera? Check
-Desperate grasp at comedic effect using shitty 80’s song? Check
-Cast composed of mildly autistic teenagers? Check
-Pointless lip-synch attempt? Check
-Severe lack of female presence? Check

Chocolate Rain
For all those who prefer to spend their time socializing and exercising and getting grades rather than spend hours and hours on the internet, I bring you “Chocolate Rain”, an original song and, as of recently, a massive internet phenomenon! This still counts as a homemade music video, because even though the guy is actually singing the song (so I’m told), it shows just how frightening this world can get. This little shit actually got featured on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where he sat before a live-studio crowd and sung his song, complete with creepy stare and square-rim glasses. Fast forward to the last minute of the video, and Jimmy gives our friend some time to bring out the human behind the alien, even though I continue to be a skeptic.